We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Screwed.edu
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Your penis caused this!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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