Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
