Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I could fuck to npr.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize