she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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