so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
