The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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