I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
false alarm, still single
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