Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize