I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
A bitchslap is in order.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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