why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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