So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
