But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Randomize
