Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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