Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
