...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
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It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
When did angry sex become our thing?
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It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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