Pappa wants mamma naked
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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