dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
