ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
