I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize