My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize