I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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