Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
