I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
