No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
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