If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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