I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
