im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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