It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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