i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
