Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
