It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You need a sexual gate keeper
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
