god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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