you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
