jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
