If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
