Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
