Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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