I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He? As in you personified your dick?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
