there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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