I'd wear matching sweaters with you
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
