he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
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I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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