I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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