id be glad to
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
