Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
