Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
