Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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