dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
YAS. BRING CRAB.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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