Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I can tuck mytits in my pants
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Randomize
