Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize