We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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