ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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