What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Randomize
