I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i think my mom watched the whole time
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
