Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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