Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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