Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
