this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
