chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
