This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
