i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Randomize
