420 ftw
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
The Olympian is in my bed
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
