Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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