Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
