pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
