I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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