It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
