but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
