Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
